welcome to my personal blog

This is my personal blog. you can read it if you want to know my personal life. if you like, you can follow me. if not, you can leave this blog. everyone involved in this blog are people who are near me. I apologize if there is written that offends you. thank you :)

Jumat, 20 Januari 2012

Pacaran Jarak Jauh


Kalo gue diminta untuk menggambarkan apa hal yang paling menakutkan dan yang paling gue benci dalam pacaran adalah : JARAK

Jarak yang jauh, melebar, membentang.

Banyak juga ko faktanya bahwa banyak orang pacaran yang putus Cuma gara2 hal yang satu ini. Walaupun emang banyak juga si yang hubungannya baik2 aja. Bahkan karena jarak yang jauh mereka tambah lengket kaya di lem. Huahahahaha
Entahlah, hanya mereka dan tuhan yang tau.

Istilah anak gaulnya ni.. LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP ( LDR )

Yang jelas buat gue, banyak hal merugikan yang bisa muncul dalam sebuah LDR.

Waktu lagi kangen-kangennya, ga bisa ngapa-ngapain.
Waktu lagi ada masalah, kita ga bisa bertatap muka langsung. Dan itu malah bikin segalanya jadi makin sulit !!! ngga cukup intonasi suara di telepon untuk menebak gimana kondisi hati dia saat itu. Kecuali kalo lo punya bakat jadi paranormal. Huahahahaha

Jadi makin rumit lagi kalo pacar lo adalah tipe yang gampang curiga. Istilah lainnya ni posesif !!!
Pikirannya negatiiiiif mulu.
Sebentar aja telat bales sms, dicurigain.
Sebentar aja telat ngangkat telepon, dicurigain.
Sebentar aja ngangkat jemuran, dicurigain.
Sebentar aja ngangkat gorengan, dicurigain.
Bentar deh, ini pacar apa majikan ya ?? huahahahaha -____-“

Gue bakal ngasi contoh dari hubungan gue sama salah satu mantan gue yang posesif. Gue biasa nyebut dia COWOK LEBAY !!!

(sms masuk)
“sayang, lagi ngapain ?”

(5 menit kemudian)
“sayang, ko sms aku ga dibales ? lagi sibuk ya ?”

(10 menit kemudian)
“kamu lagi ngapain sih ?”

(15 menit kemudian)
“SMS AKU KO GA DIBALES-BALES SIH ? KAMU LAGI SELINGKUH YA ?”

Kenyataannya : gue lagi sibuk beres-beres. Lagi nyapu, ngepel, nyuci piring. Bahkan gue juga suka boker. Huahahahaha

LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP (LDR)

Buat orang yang gampang curigaan, posesif, sulit buat ngejalin komunikasi,  menderita lemah jantung, impotensi, serta gangguan kehamilan dan janin, gue kasi tau aja ni, GA USAH LO NGEJALIN HUBUNGAN JARAK JAUH !!!

Tapi ni ya, meskipun udah tau kerugian-kerugiannya dari LDR. Kadang kita tetep aja ngejalaninnya.

“ngapain si LDR ? kaya ga ada yang deket-deket aja.”
Ya mungkin karena udah cinta kali ya booooo. Huahahahahaha

Banyak orang bilang, loooooooong distance relationship.

Tapi kalo gue bilangnya, BUNUH DIRI SECARA PERLAHAN.
Karena buat gue, kehadiran fisik sangat penting. Bisa menatap wajahnya, melihat senyumnya, dan gue bisa secara langsung aniaya pacar gue (maksudnya hug and kiss). huahahaha


Tapi, ya itu tadi. Atas nama cinta, banyak yang nekat ngejalanin LDR.
Emang bukan jarak alasan utamanya. Tapi seperti yang udah gue bilang sebelumnya. Jarak menjadi batu kerikil yang mempersulit proses penstabilan sebuah hubungan yang berada di ujung tanduk.
Ada hal-hal tertentu yang ga cukup bisa di selesaikan Cuma lewat SMS atau telepon.
Gue perlu dia secara fisik, secara nyata. Dia pun pasti gitu.
Seberapapun besar pengertian dan kesabarannya, suatu saat kita pasti akan sampai pada suatu titik yang di sebut LELAH !!

Ketika sampai pada fase itu, gue ataupun pasangan gue akan lupa sama perjuangan yang udah kita lewatin bareng.
Perjuangan melawan jarak dan waktu. Perjuangan melawan rasa kangen yang amat sangat karena jarang ketemu. Perjuangan menahan diri dari orang ketiga biar ga selingkuh. Perjuangan memberikan kepercayaan sama dia yang jauuuuh disana. Dalam seketika, semua itu ga ada artinya !!!

Biasanya saat kaya gitu, gue selalu nyalahin jarak, waktu, diri gue sendiri, bahkan pacar gue.
Yang pasti, semua itu adalah LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP.

Kamis, 19 Januari 2012

hate to miss someone - Still Virgin

 One night I stand I remind of you

Our hope and dream tears in my eyes

When you gone so fast

When I realized you know I can’t be perfect

I fall form you

You make me like I can’t stand with you

You make me like I can’t life with you

I can’t hold your hand

So please don’t let me down

I try to be a stronger

When I know everything over

Every time I feel everyday I think

I never see you ones again

I know I can’t be a stronger
  
Even I try to forget you

Oh no I missing you

I need is you so please don’t make me feel like

I keep you in my heart

I miss you smile I miss you face

I need you here I need you hope

In every night in everyday

Like you want me to be

I miss you voice I miss you laugh

I need you here I need you hope

In every night in everyday

Its you

You know everything its you

when you love someone - Endah N Ressa


i love you but it’s not so easy
to make you here with me
i wanna touch and hold you forever
but you’re still in my dream

and I can’t stand to wait your love is coming to my life
but I still have a time to break a silence

when you love someone just be brave to say
that you want him to be with you
when you hold your love don’t ever let him go
or you will loose your chance to make your dream come true

i used to hide and watch you from a distance
and i knew you realized
i was looking for a time to get closer
at least to say hello
and I can’t stand to wait your love is coming to my life


i never thought that i’m so strong
i stuck on you and wait so long
but when love comes it can’t be wrong
don’t ever give up, just try and try to get what you want
cause love will find the way.

complicated - Avril Lavigne

Uh uhuh, life´s like this
Uh uhuh, uh uhuh, that´s the way it is
Uh, la la la la, Cause life´s like this
Uh, la la la la, that´s the way it is
Chill out whatcha yelling for?
Lay back it’s all been done before
And if you could only let it be
You will see

I like you the way you are
When we’re drivin’ in your car
And you’re talking to me one on one but you’ve become
Somebody else round everyone else
You’re watching your back like you can’t relax
You’re tryin’ to be cool you look like a fool to me

Tell me
Why you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you’re
Acting like you’re somebody else gets me frustrated
Life’s like this you
And you fall and you crawl and you break
And you take what you get and you turn it into
Honestly you promised me i’d never gonna find you fake it
No no no

You come over unannounced
Dressed up like you’re somethin’ else
Where you are and where it’s at you see
You’re making me
Laugh out when you strike your pose
Take off all your preppy clothes
You know you’re not foolin’ anyone
When you’ve become

Somebody else round everyone else
Watching your back, like you can’t relax
Trying to be cool you look like a fool to me
Tell me

Why you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you’re
Acting like you’re somebody else gets me frustrated
Life’s like this you
And you fall and you crawl and you break
And you take what you get and you turn it into
Honestly promised me i’d never gonna find you fake it
No no no

Chill out whatcha yelling for?
Lay back, it’s all been done before
And if you could only let it be
You will see

Somebody else round everyone else
You’re watching your back, like you can’t relax
You’re trying to be cool, you look like a fool to me
Tell me
Why you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you’re
Acting like you’re somebody else gets me frustrated
Life’s like this you
And you fall and you crawl and you break
And you take what you get and you turn it into
Honestly promise me i’m never gonna find you fake it
No no
Why you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you’re
Acting like your somebody else gets me frustrated
Life’s like this you
You fall and you crawl and you break
And you take what you get and you turn it into
Honestly promise me i’m never gonna find you fake it
No no no

it's not over - secondhand serenade

My tears run down like razorblades
And no, I'm not the one to blame
It's you ' or is it me?
And all the words we never say
Come out and now we're all ashamed
And there's no sense in playing games
When you've done all you can do

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
But it's over

I lose myself in all these fights
I lose my sense of wrong and right
I cry, I cry
It's shaking from the pain that's in my head
I just wanna crawl into my bed
And throw away the life I led
But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

It's not over, it's not over, it's never over
Unless you let it take you
It's not over, it's not over, it's not over
Unless you let it break you
It's not over

wish you were here - Avril Lavigne


I can be tough
I can be strong
But with you, it’s not like that at all

There’s a girl
who gives a shit
behind this wall
You’ve just walked through it

And I remember, all those crazy things you said
You left them riding through my head
You’re always there, you’re everywhere
But right now I wish you were here.

All those crazy things we did
Didn’t think about it, just went with it
You’re always there, you’re everywhere
But right now I wish you were here

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I’d do to have you
here, here, here
I wish you were here.

Damn, Damn, Damn
What I’d do to have you
near, near, near
I wish you were here.

I love the way you are
It’s who I am, don’t have to try hard
We always say, say like it is
And the truth is that I really miss

All those crazy things you said
You left them riding through my head
You’re always there, you’re everywhere
But right now I wish you were here.

All those crazy things we did
Didn’t think about it, just went with it
You’re always there, you’re everywhere
But right now I wish you were here

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I’d do to have you
here, here, here
I wish you were here.
Damn, Damn, Damn
What I’d do to have you
near, near, near
I wish you were here.

No, I don’t wanna let go
I just wanna let you to know
That I never wanna let go
(let go let go let go let go)
No, I don’t wanna let go
I just wanna let you to know
That I never wanna let go
(let go let go let go let go let go let go let go)

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I’d do to have you
here, here, here
I wish you were here (I wish you were)
Damn, Damn, Damn
What I’d do to have you
near, near, near
I wish you were here.
Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I’d do to have you
here, here, here
I wish you were here.
Damn, Damn, Damn
What I’d do to have you
near, near, near
I wish you were here.

tanpa judul


Gue ga tau mesti mulai dari mana :D

Yang pasti ini semua tentang perasaan gue. Di saat2 gue kesepian, gue ada masalah. Yang Cuma bisa gue lakukan adalah nulis. Karena buat gue, menceritakan apa yang gue alami, yang gue rasakan kepada orang lain itu ga mudah. Sekalipun mereka memberikan respon yang peduli terhadap apa yang gue rasain, mereka ga akan perna benar2 ngerasain itu.

Gue memang agak sedikit tertutup sama masalah pribadi gue. Selama gue masi bisa tahan, gue akan berusaha untuk menyelesaikannya sendiri.

Soal apa yang gue rasain saat ini,

Gue ga tau apa !
Mungkin sedih, menyesal, putus asa, hancur, semua pokonya jadi satu.

Kenapa ?
Karena saat ini gue sendiri. Ga ada seseorang yang menemani hari2 gue lagi. Ga ada yang mampu menghibur gue di saat gue bosan, sedih, ataupun ada masalah.

Gue ngerasa kehilangan..
Dulu, ada seseorang yang nemenin gue. Jadi di kampus, gue ga ngerasa bete.
Tapi sekarang ?!
Yaaaa, kita memang udah pisah.
Emang itu juga yang gue pengenin dari hubungan gue sama dia.
Sebelumnya gue sempet berperang antara logika sama hati gue. Dan akhirnya yang menang adalah logika ini. Gue tetep pengen putus !
Meskipun dia sempet nahan gue. Dia tetep mau mempertahankan hubungan kita. Tapi gue, TETEP MAU PUTUS !!!
Dan akhirnya kita putus.
Tapi ternyata setelah kita putus, gue ngerasa kehilangan..
Ada yang beda dalam hidup gue. Ga seperti hari2 sebelumnya.
Ga ada yang manggil gue sayang lagi, ga ada yang perhatiin gue. Pokonya gue kesepian.
Tapi rasanya, terlalu sulit buat balik lagi sama dia. Dia ga perna ngajakin buat balikan lagi.
Gue sadar, mungkin gue terlalu nyakitin hatinya dia. Gue jahat !!
Gue Cuma menilai dia dari hal2 buruk dia aja. Yang gue inget Cuma keburukannya dia aja.
Dan setelah gue pisah, gue baru sadar sama kebaikan dia.
Gue salah udah nyuruh dia buat berubah seperti apa yang gue mau.

Gue ga bisa untuk cepet move on kaya sebelumnya. Karena gue emang Cuma pengen dia.

Pengen banget rasanya ngebaca pikiran dia.
Apakah dia juga masi sayang sama gue ? apa dia mau balik lagi sama gue ?
 Namun yang gue punya Cuma naluri untuk mempertahankan perasaan gue.
Ada yang salah diantara kita..
Semua membuat kita kehilangan akal sehat. Kita berjalan ke arah yang berlawanan, tapi kita tuh berada di sisi jalan yang sama.
Terus, sampe kapan gue harus bertahan di sisi jalan ini ?
Nunggu lo !
Harus berapa jauh lo ngedorong gue sampe ngeliat gue terluka dan terjatuh ?
Aaaaaah, gue g tau !!!
Tapi yang pasti gue ngerti ko. Bahwa salah satu cara terbaik untuk kembali bisa menghargai apa yang kita miliki adalah dengan meninggalkannya sejenak. Dan di saat kita merindukannya, maka disaat itu pula kita menyadari. Bahwa itu adalah berharga.

Ya ALLAH, beri aku kesempatan sekali lagi buat memulai semuanya dari awal bersama dia. Beri aku kesempatan untuk merasakan saat2 seperti dahulu. 27082011.
Aku sayang dia tuhan ^^